Stop telephoning me ...

The phone. Or should I say, one of the biggest causes of my stresslevels.

Until I started my job, I never choose to call someone instead of text someone. Texting was my safetynet. Now, I don't have a choice anymore. I either pick up that phone, or problems don't get solved and clients will find another insurance agent. 

When I first started my job, I just avoided the phone. The picking up part was already too difficult for me to do. Just hearing it ring made my heart go insane. 
And when I had the strenght to actually pick it up, I couldn't bring out a single word. 

Slowly it started to get a little easier to pick the phone and actually get a word out. 
After a couple of months (Yes I know that's a long time but Rome wasn't build in a day either haha) I could actually say 'Zakenkantoor Johan Droogmans, how may I help you?' without any blockage or stutter. That itself was already a big win for me. I guess it's true what they say, the more you practise and actually do it ... the better it gets. 

Ofcourse I don't only have to pick up the phone, I have to make phonecalls as well.
If you think that picking up the phone is already difficult for me, then you have seen nothing yet. 

Making a phonecall to a company we work with (AG insurace, AXA, P&V insurances, DKV healthinsurance ...) or to a costumor is very stressfull for me. Because now I'm the one that has to do explain everything and ask the questions. 

The worst phonecall until now was where I just couldn't explain anything anymore. I just completely shut down. I could only hear 'Hello Hello?' coming from the other end of the line. I just wanted to scream out 'I'm sorry but I having a blockage, i'm so sorry'. There were so many thoughts going around in my head that I couldn't even try to stay calm. Out of frustration I just put the phone down. I didn't want to try anymore. I guess we all have those days sometimes. At one point you just get sick of trying. The thing I do when I get very upset? Cry. I will actually go to the toilet, cry a bit, calm myself down and get back at it and try it again. And it might sound very silly that I cry but for me that is a sign that I care and that I want to do my job well. If I didn't care, I wouldn't put time into worrying about it.

You know what's funny? Every time that I need to call a customer, I hope that I get voicemail. Because when I get a voicemail, I can fluently say what I need to say. No stutters, no blockages and most of all, no worries. Isn't that weird? I find it weird sometimes. 
How come that I can talk fluently when I'm alone (yes I talk to myself sometimes) or when I talk to the voicemail, but from the moment I know that someone is listening I just shut down.
I don't know why I get so worked up about it. Having stress is not helping me. Sometimes I find myself so silly for stressing out so much. I know can explain the problem or the situation, the only thing that is holding me back is the stress. 
But it's exactly that part that I can't fix that easily. 
There have been so many failures that I keep close in my thoughts, it's hard to shut that off. 

But I am determined to be able to make good phone calls. 
I know that I can do it and I want to prove it. To my boss, to the people on the line but mostly to myself. 

When I finally find some tips that help me, I will share them :-)


Love,
Natasja xxx