Something positive

For this post I just wanted to share a positive experience I've had this week. 

I've been working really hard on how I feel towards my stuttering. I've come a long way. 
A year ago I hated who I was, I hated that I wasn't like everyone else. I felt like I could never be good enough because of my stutter. It controlled my life at that point. I would stop talking, avoid certain conversations or situations ... I didn't feel at ease and I felt like I couldn't control it, like I couldn't control myself. 

That was a year ago. I'm happy to say that those feelings have faided and made place for more positive thoughts. 

This has shown a lot in my self esteem at work. For the last couple of weeks I've been making a lot of progress with it comes to the telephone. So much that even my boss noticed.

This tuesday I had to call the insurance company to get them to accept a customer again. Not an easy task. Especially not when they have been thrown out. I kept really calm and tried to explain everything. I actually dared to ask questions. I dared to express my opinion. I wasn't afraid to talk. And it was the first time in a long time I did all of it while my boss could listen to every single word I said. 

While I was talking he came by and gave me a thumbs up. I couldn't be happier. When I finished he told me that he was very impressed. I can not even put into words how amazing that felt. He said he notices that I feel better in my own skin and that I'm getting more secure with everything I do. 
I've been putting a lot of work into my stuttering. Not only in my speaking but also in how I mentally feel about it. I've said it a lot but stuttering is not only a 'speaking problem', mentally it's very hard. 

Having my boss, someone who sees my every single day, say that he is impressed really took me by heart. He's not the easiest person to impress haha. 

I was even able to say my name 2 times this week to someone in person. Without having a blockage that lasts 10 seconds. I can not tell you how long it has been since I was able to do that. 
Or the fact that I can introduce the company while I'm the one calling someone ... It took me so long to get that but so far it's going great. 

When it comes to stuttering I always see negative experiences being put out. But I really want to keep the postive vibe up. And yes that is coming from the same girl that would cry her eyes out when she made a blockage.

I try to keep the positive experiences in mind. Have I had blockages did week? Yes I did. Did I mind? No I didn't. I managed them as good as I could.


Sometimes it's not about getting rid of the stutter. It's about learning how to live with it and speak with it. 
It's hard and a lot of work but the positive experiences make it all worth it. 

I know that this post is probably all over the place but I just want to show everyone that we should never give up. We can do a lot more than we think. Sometimes it's just all about stepping out of your comfort zone.

Much love,
Natasja 
xx

Have a great weekend!